I have a question
by AmyNChan
Summary: "Garrus could not think of another time where EDI struggled to come up for a word to describe what she was feeling. She was a highly advanced AI that constantly self-modified and evolved. A dictionary as large as a whole planet had to be stored in her memory banks somewhere." Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Friendship JEDI and mentions of Shakarian


_**AmyNChan: Okay, so I just wanted to write a bit of angst because of something I just found out… *cries***_

 _ **Joker: *continues to fly the Normandy***_

 _ **Garrus: AmyNChan does not own Mass Effect or any of its characters.**_

 _ **AmyNChan: Yeah.. and before reading this, go ahead and listen in on that conversation in Huerta Memorial.**_

Garrus Vakarian looked around the CIC of the Normandy SR-2 for only a moment. It had been a year since the end of the Reaper War, a year since all of the races had bound together to stop such a threat., a year since every living thing in existence had begun to show green eyes and gain strength

A year since the love of his life had given her own to end the slaughter.

He tried not to think about how this should still be _her_ ship as he crossed from the elevator to the cockpit. He tried not to think about how she had somehow scraped up enough time to write herself a _will_ , for spirit's sakes!

Tried not to think about her leaving her entire ship and crew to his command.

That last one was a very difficult thing not to think about as the crew's concerns were what led him to walk the ship instead of fidgeting with the calibrations in the main battery as usual. He tended to leave Joker in charge of destinations whenever they had time away from cooperative military work, often allowing him to surprise the rest of the crew. There had been trips to Palaven, Thessia, Earth, Rannoch, Tuchanka…even a small colony out in the middle of no where. These were the most frequent. Other times he explored the galaxy and found the crew more trouble to fall into in order to sharpen their skills.

Just like when Shepard had whenever she had found free time.

Garrus shook that train of thought. He knew that dwelling on her tended to slow him down, make him vulnerable in the sight of all the men and women aboard. He considered many of them friends, but they needed a leader now and a leader was what he would attempt to become. Not as great as Shepard, of course, but a leader nonetheless.

"Garrus," the voice said. The turian nodded towards the pilot and co-pilot.

"Hey, Garrus! Don't the batteries need calibrating? Or maybe the thanix?" Joker asked. His sarcastic tone was mere friendly banter and the sniper smirked.

"Don't you have to put the old girl through her paces? Make sure she still works like a dream?"

"Hey, don't diss my baby! She'll always dance in my hands!"

Garrus chuckled at how lighthearted Joker could seem. He tended to deflect huge conversations with banter and sarcasm. He wondered if it were a human trait to be so strong even under pressure. Maybe it was just a Shepard and Joker thing. Both had gone through the war. One gave her life for it, the other came out of it still cracking jokes and moving forward despite the heavy losses.

Perhaps he even envied the lucky pilot.

"Garrus, may I speak with you?" EDI asked, politely cutting into the conversation. She had stood up when he had arrived and he took the opportunity to nod. The synthetic led out of the cockpit, giving Garrus no choice but to follow. He did not see, but somehow knew Joker had watched them leave.

Garrus could not blame him. Those two had been almost inseparable since the end of the ordeal.

"What's going on?" he found himself asking when the door had shut behind them. He found himself even more quizzical when the AI began to wring her hands. A nervous tick, he supposed, that she had picked up after watching and learning from organics. It was very similar to what Shepard used to do.

"I have a question," she stated. Garrus rose the plate over his left eye. It was a humanesque expression of stating the obvious. Evidently, EDI understood his intent as she elaborated. "I was hoping you could answer as you appear to have the best chance of knowing what it is I need to know."

"I suppose I could try," the turian said, again taking note of EDI's moving hands. Upon his answer to her statement, the hand movement stopped. She straightened and took an analytical expression, the very same she had worn in the cockpit just moments ago.

"When one gathers information that is important to their significant other, yet also has a significant probability of inflicting harm upon them, what would be the best course of action?"

Garrus blinked. Surprise flitted across his face. Then understanding.

"You came across information on something important to Joker, but it's bad news?" he guessed. EDI nodded. Her hands began to move once more.

"Is it his family?" Another nod. That was all the confirmation he needed.

"Jeff has wanted to introduce me to Gunny for some time now. I did some research in order to better prepare myself for the eventual meeting, believing that Jeff had an indicator she was alive. Instead…" EDI looked down and away, shame in her eyes. "Instead I found a possible link to Hilary Moreau within high levels of security in Thessia government. What I found was…"

Garrus could not think of another time where EDI struggled to come up for a word to describe what she was feeling. She was a highly advanced AI that constantly self-modified and evolved. A dictionary as large as a whole planet had to be stored in her memory banks somewhere.

Still, it was better to show her mercy.

"You don't have to tell me what you found," he said, holding up a three fingered hand. EDI looked grateful, yet still sorrowful and confused. "I don't know why you asked me, but I would suggest telling Joker."

"But there is a significant probability—"

"Yeah, and he probably won't take it very well," Garrus interrupted. "But if he knew that you had this information and didn't tell him, knowing that this was important, he would react much worse."

"I could prevent him from knowing."

"Would that be any better? Making runs to Tiptree and knowing that he'll never see her again, even though not seeing her and him having hope that he will is probably hurting him more than it's helping?"

EDI was silent after this. Perhaps she was thinking about his words. He could not say he had thought them through carefully. The thought of anyone that he loved keeping a terrible secret like that away from him. The fact that they had for a solid month before he had figured it out himself.

Perhaps that was why she had asked him. Because no one had told him Shepard was dead until they had asked him to place her name on the wall. And even then they had been reluctant. The love shared between him and Shepard might have been a different sort than between a brother and a sister, but it was no less potent and the feelings were no less real.

"…I am afraid."

Garrus blinked, the plates above his eyes rising. Surprise.

"Afraid that he'll be mad at you?" he asked, making sure. EDI turned to look at the cockpit door. Behind those sat Joker, still flying the ship.

"I am afraid that he will cease to be himself. I am afraid that this hope is what keeps him going, and that if I take that away he will do something…drastic. In essence, I am afraid of losing Jeff."

Her voice might have been synthesized, but Garrus knew without a shadow of a doubt that every emotion was real. The same way he knew that everyone of the Normandy had felt the same on telling him about Shepard. However, if he could save Joker from a nasty surprise like that, he would.

"News like that is never something any person of any species wants to hear," Garrus started slowly, hoping that his meaning would make it to the anxious AI. "But it needs to be heard. When it is, he will need you there."

"Even if I am the one to tell him?" she asked. Garrus nodded.

"Even if it's you who's telling him. He'll need someone who can support him by his side, and I can't think of anyone else who would be there for him more than you. Not even doctor Chakwas has that covered," Garrus said. He said no more as EDI took in his words. He hoped they were enough because he literally had no more profound things to say. He had just used up all of his "Shepard charm", as he had taken to calling it.

"I see. Thank you, Garrus. Could you inform the crew not to bother Jeff and I for a while, please?" she asked.

"Sure thing," he said. EDI nodded with a battle-hardened expression on her face. As Garrus turned away, he could not say he envied her.

He prayed that the spirit of the Normandy would be with Joker when he heard the news.

 _ **AmyNChan: I actually wrote this two nights ago and couldn't post it until now. I hope it adequately made you dread the conversation EDI's going to have to go through.**_

 _ **EDI: What is the purpose behind these conflicting emotions?**_

 _ **AmyNChan: Nothing more than the blaring fact that life is difficult and messy and not always as kind as I like to make it out to be. So have some angst.**_

 _ **EDI: I see. In that event, perhaps an adequate feedback is now required in order for this piece of writing to be properly classified as 'angst'.**_

 _ **AmyNChan: Yeah. Can't know what it is exactly without a second opinion… or several… ^^; Please read and review~! *^_^***_


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